Dear IRS

Enclosed is my 2000 Tax Return & payment.

Please take note of the attached article from USA Today. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon paid $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

So, please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the “Presidential Election Fund,” as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above mentioned fund a “1.5 inch screw?” (See attached article…HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. I just saw an article about the Pentagon and “screwdrivers.”

Signed,
A Faithful Taxpayer