Category: Life Jokes

  • I have Contacts

    A policeman pulled a female driver over and asked to see her license.

  • Negotiating a trip home

    Bob had been shopping downtown all day with his wife and four little children. They were all so tired, he decided to take a taxicab home. 

  • Something from the Bar?

    A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago, biting his fingernails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, “Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?”

  • Just Plane Dumb

    The military commander had grown increasingly anxious over rumors of an impending air strike from the enemy. So, he summoned a corporal. “I want you to climb that mountain and report any signs of a military activity.”

  • Directions

    A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines.

  • Middle Age…

    Middle age is when you go to the doctor and you realize you know have to pay someone to look at you naked.

  • That’s Disgusting

    A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read “Unique Breakfast” so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. 

  • Door to Door

    An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory.