During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yel...
The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Ariel Sharon, the leader of Israel. "Your Holiness," said one of his Cardinals, "Mr. Sharon wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit share...
It was summer and a drought threatened the crops throughout the region. One hot and dry Sunday, the village parson told his congregation, "There isn't anything that will save us except to pray for rain. Go home, pray , believe, and come back n...
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your e...
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man, "There is more than one type?" "Lo...
A church in a rural community was so small that the pastor also doubled as the local barber to make ends meet. There happened to be a man in this small community who had invested wisely and was enjoying his newfound comfort. This man got out of be...
Several members of the preacher's congregation came to the minister for help with a backsliding member of his flock. "His drinking has gotten so bad," said one of the group, "that he is actually firing shots at us if we get anywhere near his mo...
Three guys and were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever...
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided th...
Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything—noise, spray, cats—nothing seems to scare them away. An...
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him , "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bibl...
The Rev. Billy Graham tells of a time early in his career when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy told him, Rev. Graham thanked him and said, "If you'l...
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its office supply dealer of twetny years. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why. "I'll tell you why," said Deacon Brown. "Our church ordered some pencils from you to b...
Robert, age eight, was the son of strict Presbyterian parents. He was very, very good, worked hard at school, did his chores, and was generally helpful and obedient. But one morning, for some reason, he came down to breakfast in a very nasty m...
To make it possible for everyone to attend church on Sunday, we are proposing to have a special 'No Excuse Sunday.'
A paramedic was asked on a local TV talk-show program: "What was your most unusual and challenging 911 call?" "Recently we got a call from that big white church at 11th and Walnut," the paramedic said. "A frantic usher was very concerned that...
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's...
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The Elder Board accepted...
GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those pl...
