Faulty Chainsaw

A redneck decides he is going to buy a chainsaw to cut down some trees in his back yard.

He goes to a local store asks about the various saws. The dealer tells him, “I have a lot of models of chainsaws, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model? This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day.”

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit, thinking there is something wrong with the chainsaw. “How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?” the man asks himself.

The next day, the man gets up at 4:00 a.m. and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords. Since the dealer told him he could cut a hundred cords of wood a day, the man is convinced he bought a defective saw.

So, the next day, the redneck heads back into town and goes to the chainsaw store. He tells the dealer what’s happened.

The dealer, baffled by the man’s problem, removes the chainsaw from the case. He inspects it carefully, turning it back and forth and looking at it closely. He checks the tension on the chain and then makes sure the teeth on the chain are sharp. “Hmm, it looks okay,” he tells the redneck.

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw. The redneck is obviously startled. His eyes get very wide, and he shouts over the sound of the saw, “What the hell is that noise?”