Month: September 2008
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A Letter From Mom
Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I’m writing this letter slowly because I know that you cannot read fast. You won’t know the house when you come home. We’ve moved.
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Companionship
Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship.
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Lawns & God
GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan.
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Good & Bad News for Pastors
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river. Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
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In the Beginning
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
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More Men vs. Women
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”
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The Cause of Death
Two Women waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
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Dilbert Quotes
A magazine ran a “Dilbert Quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some submissions: