Hillary Clinton and Lie Clocks
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven.
As she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, pointing behind St. Peter, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."
"Whose clock is that?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."
"Where's my clock?"
"Over there," St. Peter said, pointing. "As you can see, the hands on your clock have moved quite a bit. But don't worry, we grade on a curve up here, and—considering you were both a lawyer and a politician—we didn't expect much."
Hillary looked around and then asked, "Where's Bill's clock?"
"Bill's clock is in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."