If Microsoft Built Cars

  1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a new car.
  2. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you’d have to restart it. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this and drive on.
  3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop, fail to restart, and you’d have to reinstall the engine. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this too.
  4. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
  5. Someone else – say, a company called Macintosh – would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as fast, and twice as easy to drive. But, it would only run on one road in twenty.
  6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars run much slower.
  7. The oil, engine, petrol, and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “ERROR” warning light.
  8. New seats would require everyone to have the same size backside.
  9. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a “Car95” or a “CarNT.” But, then you’d have to buy more seats.
  10. The airbag system would say, “Are you sure?” before going off.






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