Category: Life Jokes
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Battery
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son.
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Good & Evil
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest.
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Translation Please
In California’s Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like “well-aged Caumeneur.”
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Weighing In
A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.
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Things You Don’t Want To Hear At A Tattoo Parlor
“There are 2 O’s in Bob, right?” “We’re all out of red, so I used pink.”
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The Modern Toolbox
Hammer – In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one’s enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.
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A Friend for Supper
“Honey,” said a husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”
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Contacting the Departed
A woman went to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother.