The Benefits of Growing Older (and you thought there weren’t any)

• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run into a burning building.
• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
• Things you buy now won’t wear out.
• You can buy a compass for the dash of your car.
• You can eat dinner at 4:00.
• You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
• You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
• You can constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
• You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
• You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
• You got cable for the weather channel.
• You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• You give lots of money to charities.
• You sing along with the elevator music.
• You have an age advantage whenever you need it.
• Your Congressman pays attention to you.
• You are not expected to keep up with technology or understand it.
• You get travel and entertainment discounts.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• You can dance to the oldest music and no one laughs at you.
• People come to you for help with their antique cars.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

Thanks, Anita in L.A.