You Look Familiar

A completely inebriated man walks into a bar. After staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walks over to her and pinches her on the fanny.

Understandably, the woman jumps up and slaps him sily.

The man does a double-take and then apologizes, explaining, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable JERK!!!"

"Funny," he muttered, "you also sound exactly like her.".