A Southerner in Hell
A Southerner dies and goes to hell.
The Devil soon notices that he is not suffering like the rest. The Devil checks the gauges and sees that it's 100 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he asks the Southerner why he's so happy.
The guy says, "I really like it here. The temperature is just like Tennessee in June,"
The Devil isn't happy with the Southerner's answer, so he turns up the temperature to 120 degrees and the humidity to 90%. He then goes looking for the Southerner.
The Devil finds him unbuttoning his shirt, as happy as can be. Again, the Devil quizzes the Southerner as to why he's so happy.
The guy says, "This is even better. It's like Alabama in July,"
The Devil, now really upset, decides to make the Southerner understand that hell is no paradise. He walks over to the controls and turns it up to 140 degrees and 100% humidity. "Now let's see what that darn Southerner is up to," he thinks.
The Devil finds him taking off his shirt and basking in the heat, even happier than before. The Devil can't figure it out. He asks the Southerner why he's happy now.
The Southerner replies, "This is great! It's just like Florida in August!"
"That's it, I'll get this guy," says the Devil as he walks over and turns the temperature down to 25 degrees below zero.
Everything immediately freezes. "Now let's see what that darn Southerner has to say about this!" the Devil thinks to himself.
He finds the Southerner jumping up and down for joy. "What are you so happy about now!?!" asks the Devil.
Still excited, the Southerner replies, "Ole Miss has finally won the National Championship!"