One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 7-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine — in search of his lost ball. The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and...
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first." And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: " I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt M...
It is the Olympic men's figure skating. Out comes the Russian competitor, he skates around to some classical music in a slightly dull costume, performs some excellent leaps but without any great artistic feel for the music. The Judges' sco...
Bob was playing soccer with his local team. He got a breakaway and headed towards the goal. He missed an easy shot to tie the game, which meant the other team won. "I could kick myself." he groaned, as the players came off the field. "Don't bothe...
Please feel free to substitute the name of your most hated college rival A University of Alabama student named Ed had been trying to graduate for 20 years. He finally went to the dean and said there must be some way he could graduate. The dean ag...
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off when a man runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" "It's a special golf ball," says the s...
George looks like a golf pro in his designer outfit but he slices his first drive deep into the woods. Rather than accept a penalty, he decides to try using an iron to get back on the fairway. His ball ricochets off a tree and strikes him on the for...
A man is walking from the lake carrying two fish in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these fish, they are my pets. Everyday I come down to the wate...
Bill, an avid golfer, contacts a "Medium" and asks if there is a Golf Course in Heaven. The Medium says that he will find out and get back to him in a few days. After several days go by, Bill finally gets a call from the Medium. "Well," said Bill, "w...
It has been determined that, contrary to conventional wisdom, having a romantic liaison before participating in an athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities. In fact, men have known and displaye...
At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. The ball went over the fence and bounced off the...
A Southerner dies and goes to hell. The Devil soon notices that he is not suffering like the rest. The Devil checks the gauges and sees that it's 100 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he asks the Southerner why he's so happy. The guy says, "I rea...
There is this Auburn fan who is married to a UT fan. He loves her with all of his heart, but just can't get past the fact that she is a University of Tennessee fan and therefore, kinda slow. He thinks long and hard, and comes to a decision. As much as...
Golf is like a love affair; if you don't take it seriously it's no fun;if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. The least thing upsets him on the links. He misses short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining mea...
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. In today's civilized society, it is called golf. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. Golf is a game in which the slowest peopl...
A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play one hole at Pebble Beach, California the way the pros do it. The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the green that is on a spit of land that juts out off the coast. It was so...
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. In today's civilized society, it is called golf. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. Golf is a game in which the slowest peopl...
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage. "Ladies, exe...
One day a scuba diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet deep. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever. The diver went 20 feet deeper, but the other guy joined him a few minutes later. The diver went down...
