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Football Southern Style

Woman\'s Accessories North: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket. South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a flask. Money not necessary - that\'s what dates are for. Stadiums North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people. South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people. Fathers North: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath. South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference. Campus Decor North: Statues of founders. South: Statues of Heisman trophy winners. Homecoming Queen North: Also a physics major. South: Also Miss America. Heroes North: Rudy Guliani South: Paul "Bear" Bryant or Steve Spurrier Getting Tickets North: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets. South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list. Parking North: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking. South: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday. Tailgating North: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down. South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Hootie and the Blowfish." Getting to the Stadium North: You ask "Where\'s the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in. South: When you\'re near it, you\'ll hear it. On game day it becomes the state\'s third largest city. Commentary (Male) North: "Nice play." South: "Break his legs! Kill him! Hit his mama!" Commentary (Female) North: "My, this certainly is a violent sport." South: "Break his legs! Kill him! Hit his mama!" Thanks, Mel in Ft. Meyers, FL