Helpful Housekeeping Tips

Dust bunnies can evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed.
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun.

Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.
The haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability.
The mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways is being saved to stuff handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.

If company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, “I’d love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”
If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and explain, “This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes…”
Rather than repainting, scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and muster a glint of tears as you say, “Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident… I haven’t had the heart to clean it…”

Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, “I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere…”

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