Helpful Housekeeping Tips

  • Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers.
  • Dust bunnies can evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed.
  • Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun.
  • Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.
  • The haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability.
  • The mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways is being saved to stuff handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.
  • If company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, “I’d love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”
  • If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and explain, “This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes…”
  • Rather than repainting, scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and muster a glint of tears as you say, “Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident… I haven’t had the heart to clean it…”
  • Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, “I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere…”






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