How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity (or How to amuse yourself during a boring day)

• At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
• Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
• Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”.
• Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
• Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
• Dont use any punctuation marks
• As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Ask people what gender they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
• Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
• Sing along at the opera.
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
• Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
• Ask your coworkers to address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
• When the money comes out the ATM, scream, “I won! I won! Third time this week!”
• When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, “Run for your lives! They’re loose!!”
• Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

Thanks, Andie