Kinder, Gentler Ways to Question Someone’s Intelligence

  1. A few clowns short of a circus
  2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal
  3. An experiment in artificial stupidity
  4. A few cans short of a six-pack
  5. Dumber than a box of hair
  6. A few peas short of a casserole
  7. Doesn’t have all his Cornflakes in one box
  8. The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead
  9. One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl
  10. One taco short of a combo plate
  11. A few feathers short of a whole duck
  12. All fizz, no pop
  13. The cheese slid off the cracker
  14. Body by Fisher – Brains by Mattel
  15. Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt
  16. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
  17. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
  18. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
  19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
  20. As smart as bait
  21. Chimney’s clogged
  22. Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash
  23. Doesn’t know much but leads the league in nostril hair
  24. Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor
  25. Forgot to pay his brain bill
  26. Her sewing machine’s out of thread
  27. His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels
  28. His belt doesn’t go through all the loops
  29. If he had another brain it would be lonely
  30. Missing a few buttons on his remote control
  31. No grain in the silo
  32. A loveseat short of a living room suite
  33. Receiver is off the hook
  34. Several nuts short of a full pouch
  35. Skylight leaks a little
  36. Slinky’s kinked
  37. Too much yardage between the goal posts
  38. Surfs in Nebraska
  39. Too dumb to serve in Congress






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