Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date.
It is improper to take a beer cooler to church unless there is going to be dinner on the grounds.
Be sure that any taxidermy used as a centerpiece is free of ticks and fleas.
Do not lay rubber while in a funeral procession.
At a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires has the right of way.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer — unless she can carry enough for both of you.
Livestock is a good choice for a wedding gift only if the couple has a fence.
Overnight guests should never have to share a bed with more than one dog, unless it is a cold night.