Always offer to bait your date\'s hook, especially on the first date. It is improper to take a beer cooler to church unless there is going to be dinner on the grounds. Be sure that any taxidermy used as a centerpiece is free of ticks and fleas. Do not lay rubber while in a funeral procession. At a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires has the right of way. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer -- unless she can carry enough for both of you. Livestock is a good choice for a wedding gift only if the couple has a fence. Overnight guests should never have to share a bed with more than one dog, unless it is a cold night.