To make it possible for everyone to attend church on Sunday, we are proposing to have a special 'No Excuse Sunday.'
- Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say,'Sunday is my only day to sleep in.'
- They will have steel helmets for those who say, 'The roof will cave in if I ever came to church.'
- Blankets will be furnished for those who say it is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot.
- There will be hearing aids for those who say, 'The pastor speaks too softly,' and cotton for those who say, 'He preaches too loudly.'
- Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
- Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.
- There will be TV dinners for those who can't go to church and cook dinner too.
- ...and golf clubs will be available for practice swings.