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She Said It

I\'m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I\'m not dumb... and I also know that I\'m not blonde. -Dolly Parton You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don\'t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can\'t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. -Rita Rudner I\'ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -Erma Bombeck If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing \'em. -Sue Grafton I\'m not going to vacuum \'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne I think, therefore I\'m single. -Lizz Winstead When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn\'t itch. -Gilda Radner In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinhem Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. -Gloria Steinhem I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. -Marie Corelli Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. -Baroness Edith Summerskill If men can run the world, why can\'t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor