Stock Market Terminology for Dummies
Momentum Investing — The fine art of buying high and selling low.
Value Investing — The art of buying low and selling lower.
Broker — Poorer than you were in 1999.
P/E ratio — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Standard &amp; Poor — Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Bull Market — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband sleeps on the couch.
Stock split — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
Market Correction — The day after you buy stocks.