Your home is more mobile than any of the trucks or cars in your front yard.
You’ve ever been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.
Chiggers among your major hygiene concerns.
You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.
You’ve ever hit a deer with your car deliberately.
You’ve ever given rat traps as gifts.
You’ve ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You’ve ever bathed with flea and tick soap.
Your kids take a siphon hose to “Show and Tell.”
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.
You’ve ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.
Motel 6 turns the lights off when they see you coming.
You’ve ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a restroom wall message that begins, “For a good time call….”
You bought a VCR because wrestling is on while your at work.
Your father executes the “pull my finger” trick during Christmas dinner.
Your spouse has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper to be quality entertainment.