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Thanks, George in Montgomery, AL
- Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
- You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
- The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."
- Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
- If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.
- Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?
- When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
- If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
- Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.
- Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you.
- And finally... Be really good to everyone. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.