The Lord Will Save Me
During a particularly wet winter, flood waters rose so high in one town that the national guard evacuated all the residents. One man stayed behind, however, and when the water was waist-high, two national guardsmen in a motorboat passed his house, checking for people left behind.
"We're evacuating the town because of the flood! Jump in the boat and we'll carry you to safety!"
But the man said, "No, don't bother; I've led a pious life, and the Lord will save me."
The men in the boat shrugged their shoulders and motored away. Later, when the water level had driven the man onto his roof, another boat appeared.
"Haven't you heard the town has been evacuated? Come on, we'll save you!"
But the man sent them away too, saying "No, no, the Lord will save me!"
The water level keeps rising until the man was standing on his chimney, barely keeping his head above water. A helicopter, doing a final check, appeared overhead. It dropped a rope, and over the loudspeaker the man heard, "Grab the rope and we'll take you to safety!"
But the man waved the helicopter away, once again saying, "No, the Lord will save me!"
But the water level kept rising, and he drowned.
When he got to heaven, he is completely bewildered. He asked God, "Why didn't you save me?"
And God said, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter."