The New Windows

To: Consumas Outside the Garden State It has come ta our attention dat a cupola copies of the Windows XP-New Joisey Edition may have been shipped outsida Joisey. If ya got one a dese, you may need some help unnerstanin da commands. Da Joisey edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads; "Windas XP" wit a background pitcha of Hoboken. When yous start da program, instead of da usual harpy stringy like music, you hear a little Springsteen. It's also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava. Changes in Terminology in da Joisey Edition:
  • OK.........Sure ting
  • Cancel.....Fugetaboutit
  • Reset......Start ova
  • Yes........Yeah
  • No.........Nah
  • Find.......Put a contract out on
  • Browse.....Get a looksee
  • Back.......U-Toin
  • Help.......Get your own ansa
  • Stop.......Knock it off
  • Start......Move it
  • Settings...Here's da rules
Please Also Note:
  • Recycle bin is labeled "Newark"
  • My computer is called "My Computa"
  • The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk"
  • Deleted items are referred to as "Wacked", "Erased", or "Rubbed Out"
  • Control Panel is known as "The Bosses"
  • Performing an "illegal operation" is Known as "enhancin da family business" and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin' it down.
  • Hard Drive is referred to as "Da turnpike on da way to da shore"
  • Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna believe dis" pops up
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you mistakenly got a copy of the JOISEY EDITION (NOT). You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WIT DAT? (By da way, spellcheck is a nightmare wit da JOISEY edition dey still haven't worked out all da bugs)