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The Theory of Cat Behavior

LAW OF CAT INERTIA — A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food. 

LAW OF CAT MOTION — A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION — Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY — All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT — A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION — A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter + It Doesn't Matter.

LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE — As yet undiscovered.