Top Ten Ten Rules of Dieting
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda. (This rule also applies to mixed drinks. Example: rum and diet coke)
- When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if they eat more than you do.
- When you eat with someone else, your calories don't count if they eat more than you do.
- Calories in food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Examples: hot chocolate, brandy and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
- If you fatten everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
- Movie related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because everyone knows that movies aren't real.
- When preparing food, things licked off spoons and knives have no calories. Examples: peanut butter on a knife when making a sandwich; ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae; cake frosting.
- Broken cookie pieces contain no fat. It leaks out.
- Foods that are the the same color have the same number of calories, Examples: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. (Note: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.)
- Calories are a unit of heat. Therefore, frozen foods have no calories. Examples include ice cream, frozen pies and Popsicles.
- Wild Card. Each dieter may add one rule that pertains to their particular, unique situation. For example: Pork Bar-B-Q has no fat or calories on all legal holidays in Alabama, Mississippi and Georgia.