Translating Real Estate Ads
CHARMING — Tiny. Snow White might fit, but five of the dwarfs would have to find their own place. See "Cute," "Enchanting," and "Good Starter Home."
MUCH POTENTIAL — Grim. Steer clear unless you have a lot of money and believe your blind dates really did have nice personalities. See "Ready to Rehab," and "Fixer Upper."
UNIQUE CITY HOME — Used to be a warehouse.
HI-TECH/CONTEMPORARY — Lots of steel shelving with little holes — the kind your dad used to store tools on in the basement.
DARING DESIGN — Still a warehouse.
COMPLETELY UPDATED — Avocado dishwasher and harvest gold carpeting or vice versa.
FIXER-UPPER — A crew of 100 carpenters working twelve months with an unlimited budget could make it inhabitable.
SOPHISTICATED — Black walls and no windows. See "Architect's Delight."
ONE-OF-A-KIND — Ugly as sin.
BRILLIANT CONCEPT — Do you really need a two-story live oak in your 30-foot sky dome? See "Makes Dramatic Statement."
UPPER BRACKET — If you have to ask . . .
YOU'LL LOVE IT — No, you won't.
MUST SEE TO BELIEVE — An absolutely accurate statement.
Thanks, Anita Cotter